This is hard!
Okay, I get it! Being a nurse is hard!
And being a new nurse is REALLY hard!
By the way, I’m not complaining. It’s merely a statement of fact.
I know that I’ve only been at it for a few weeks now, so I’m trying not to be too hard on myself. However, today was one of those days that felt like every time I caught up, something else would happen. Not major things, mind you. Little things, but since I’m new, little things take me three to four times as long to deal with, so everything is a big thing. And if something wasn’t actually happening, the nurses on the floor were constantly teaching me things, so if I ever had the thought that I was smart and on top of my game, well, I am smart, but I have so much to learn.
One of my favorite comments was from another (long-time veteran) nurse, when I told him how overwhelmed I felt with all the new knowledge, even though I was only managing 1 fairly simple patient. He said, “Caroline, I’m still learning things every day. You’ll never stop learning things in here, but it will get less overwhelming. That’s the best part about being in the ICU.”
Love it!
Today was a frustrating day for a lot of other reasons, but in terms of my job, I feel so lucky that I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. In Corporate America, it most certainly always dropped, and generally it was a steel-toed boot landing right on my head. My co-workers continue to impress me with their knowledge, willingness to teach (even moreso than when I interned on the unit), and unending support. I don’t even have to ask. People just walk by my room if I’ve been in there more than a few minutes, to ask if everything is okay. They offer to get supplies for me. They run my labs. They do my baths so I can focus on charting and meds. I owe them an enourmous thanks.
Let me be clear that I don’t love everything about my job. But the things I do like are very, very good right now. The only way I know how to thank them (other than verbally) is to pay it forward. I look forward to the day that I can help support a new graduate in the way that I have been supported thus far. Amazing.
Tags: first year, icu, nursing, work
This entry was posted on Saturday, February 14th, 2009 at 4:55 pm and is filed under first year, icu, nursing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
February 15th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
[...] nursing world is not easy by any means. In fact it’s damn hard. Just as my fellow blogger Caroline, or [...]
February 15th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Caroline, you’re AWESOME
I’m looking forward to hearing about your adventures as you move forward in this next phase of your career! And…to be a total snob, but that’s just who I am….doesn’t it feel GREAT to be doing something that has a purpose to HELP people, instead of making money for somebody elese? 
I always shake my head in wonder at the number of people who can go through life in corporate america…(off-topic, i know…)
February 16th, 2009 at 7:17 am
@Manda, I am so with you on the feeling about Corporate America. Probably somewhere out there is a business where people feel like they are directly helping others, but I never had that experience, obviously. (Unless you count making sure that every damn employee was eating off of fully compostable plates. Woohoo…?)I don’t doubt that there are a lot of Corporate America employees who feel good about their jobs, but you and I apparently require a different kind of feeling to be satisfied and know we’ve done something good. I was never told by anyone in Corporate America that they knew I was going to heaven, for example, which happened just last week at the hospital.
So yeah, I’m with you on that one.